


Space

by Kingley



Category: f(x)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 14:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13928778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingley/pseuds/Kingley
Summary: Krystal has grown tired of searching for signs in the dark.





	Space

Laying there beside her, eyes adjusted so well to the darkness that an aura of light outlines Jinri's lithe body, Soojung thinks about her future. It feels like nothing. 

 

_*_

 

Jinri's been married for two years now. Her husband is large and loud. Soojung likes him as much as people would expect. Cordially. 

 

Jinri's been her best friend since they were ten and no one wanted to play with Soojung at the monkey bars. She looks back on those memories and finds it strange that that little girl was once herself. She thinks back and wonders what she'd do if she knew that her friend would marry a man like this. 

 

He's lewd and obnoxious. She doesn't get it. But when she really thinks about it, when has she ever understood her? 

 

_*_

 

"Soojung? What are you thinking?" Krystal hears from her left. She turns on the mattress, facing the woman beside her. 

 

"Just reminiscing," she replies vaguely. Jinri pouts. 

 

"Don't be so mysterious," she complains. Krystal smiles thinly. 

 

"It'd be too much to describe. We should sleep, anyway. He'll be back in the morning," she says prudently. Jinri shakes her head, tugging Krystal's hand from beneath the pillow and twining their fingers together. 

 

"Tell me," she murmurs. It's pitch black, but Krystal can just picture her dark brown eyes sparkling in interest. 

 

"I was thinking about us, how long we've known each other. There was the time when we got in trouble for -" 

 

"Spilling a bottle of soda in Jessica's room!" Jinri interjects. Krystal huffs out a laugh. 

 

"Yeah, there was that. There was... the day you got your first kiss in 8th grade, and you couldn't stop telling me how gross it was." 

 

Jinri wrinkles her nose. 

 

"Yeah, some memories I have tried to deeply repress." 

 

They fall into a familiar silence until Jinri bursts into a smile that Krystal can faintly make out.

 

"All these stories will be great to pass on for when my baby is having a hard time sleeping," she says dreamily. Krystal's heart freezes. 

 

"You're pregnant?" she questions. Jinri scoffs. 

 

"I've been married for two years. Why do you say it like I'm a teen mom?" 

 

"I'm sorry," Krystal manages to choke out. "Congrats." 

 

"Thanks, Jungie! Don't tell anyone, yet. I'm waiting to tell my parents." Krystal hears her yawn and then withdraw her hand from her own. She shifts back around and falls asleep just as quickly as she had woken up. 

 

Krystal doesn't cry. She can't. She suddenly feels so empty.

 

Krystal shuts her eyes, thinking of kisses and young memories that they'd agreed on never bringing up again. Jinri had asked, but Krystal knew not to take it there. It was a place that only Krystal lived in now. A mansion for one.  

 

_*_

 

She doesn't remember her dream when she wakes up. Her cheeks are damp. 

 

Jinri is still asleep beside her. He would be here any minute, and they'd all go out to have breakfast while Krystal simmered in self-hatred and bitterness. It would be a repeat of every day since Jinri had first begun to date him. 

 

Krystal is once again trapped in nothingness. She stares at her overnight bag and finally comes to a decision. 

 

_*_

 

Krystal is in Paris, now. The view from her hotel somehow breathes a bit of feeling back into her chest. 

 

It's odd to travel alone. She hasn't been alone since she's met Jinri. Or has she? 

 

Wasn't it always just Krystal looking at Jinri? Where were Jinri's eyes facing?

 

Krystal sets down her cup of tea. It clanks down onto her saucer, and the noise draws her from pondering any longer. 

Krystal is an awful friend. She knows this, well. She's just been vying for something else from Jinri for years now. It's disgusting, deceptive, deplorable. Krystal knows this, well. 

  
She's also left her newly pregnant friend without a single note or warning. It's terrible, really. 

 

Krystal smiles genuinely as she gazes out into the bustling street. It feels good. 

 

_*_

 

Krystal finally returns to Korea after two years of nagging from Jessica and her parents. Her biggest mistake was giving them her Skype. 

 

Another mistake may have been asking her family to lie about her whereabouts to Jinri. She knew that given the opportunity, Jinri would call her every single day, and where would that leave Krystal? Swinging an axe at an impenetrable wall. 

 

She knocks on her parents' door, hair freshly cut just below her chin. She lighter than she's ever been, happy and excited to see them. 

 

The door swings open and Krystal is enveloped in her older sister's arms. Her mother and father join in, and it's definitely enough to bring tears to her eyes. She bites them back, just as she's always done. 

 

_*_

 

Soojung stays inside her old room painted in light pinks and purples. She thinks her teenage self had some strange taste. 

 

"Soojung, someone's here to see you!" her father calls out. She knows exactly who it is. 

 

She clicks open her door and descends upon the stairs. There is Jinri, the same as ever though the bags under her eyes are indicative of new motherhood. She's beautiful. Soojung finds that the slightest tremor of her heart is better than what once was. 

 

There beside her is a little girl. She's chubby and short. Stumpy. Soojung almost barks out a laugh at the sight of her. 

 

"Soojung," she whispers. Soojung smiles and it doesn't break her heart like it used to. 

 

"Jinri, nice to see you." 

 

Jinri smiles tiredly, shifting on her leg. She looks thinner, Soojung realizes suddenly. The child beside her releases her mother to stumble into the kitchen. She must be familiar here. 

 

"I'm glad you're back," she says and seems like she means it. 

 

"Thanks." 

 

"Why didn't you say anything?" Jinri asks, and Soojung had known it was coming. 

 

"I felt like doing something spontaneous." 

 

"I was scared, you know? When I woke up, and you were gone, it felt like my heart had fallen out of my chest." 

 

"I'm sorry." I know, she leaves out. 

 

Jinri glances at the kitchen where everyone has congregated and looks back to Soojung.

 

"I'm sorry, too. I acted oblivious," Jinri apologizes. Soojung shakes her head. It's not surprising. 

 

"Don't apologize. If you'd said anything, who knows what would have happened? It's better, now. It's been better for a while, now." 

 

"Maybe it is for you." 

 

Soojung gazes back into her weary brown eyes, waiting for more. She's grown tired of searching for signs in the dark. More never comes. 

 

Jinri leaves quickly after, just as quickly as she'd arrived. 

 

_*_

 

Soojung hadn't wanted to bring it up. Jinri's empty finger is burned into her memory. 


End file.
